November 15, 2015

First Year as a Mother

Celebrating enzo first birthday, it means it was celebrated my first year experience as mother also. Time flies on high speed mode, right?. However one of my happiness now is to see him grow bigger day by day. My first born, my son, my love,… oh, in case you don’t know already sometimes I’m a melancholic mother just like that.

I’m truly grateful to be given the chance as a mother. I still learn and figure out how to be good mother. How to make quality time with him when I had days off. How to enfold his creativity, motoric skill, good manner, and maybe just how to be more patient to raise him with all my heart. How to use positive word o.n.l.y, low pitch toned even to show when I describe that I disagree with what have been done by him.
Sometimes I feel sad, when the day ended by watching duck tv or dangdut (oh no, enzo is kind of dangdut lover though it decreased by now, thanks God). This mother need more creative to arranging baby-toddler activities.

In a year motherhood, I learn that it really easy to judge other mother, sometimes we often see other mothers and babies are our competitors (dont worry sometimes I am a kind of this mother too). Whether normal and Caesar labor, breastfeeding and formula feeding, working or stay at home, giving homemade or instant food, cloth or disposable diapering, how big your baby, and whether their babies have reached this milestone or that in time. But this little man teach me a lot about how to grateful for what we have and comparing is one of our sickness which have to be cured. Everyone is unique, mothers and babies does.

The feeling being mother is amazing. I always amaze how nature took it course about giving mother-baby bounding, father-baby bounding without breastfeeding. The way of Alloh continuing world's live in so beautiful ways. In motherhood I believe that the love of our parents is the perfect love, I couldn't imagine I can truly in love with someone beyond I love myself. So our parent does, they must love us till we leave them to live with our own family and the wont leave us alone, always be there when we need them.

Enzo also teach me a lot how to be patient, to deal with something which is not into our principles,easy to forgive. Anyway, he is learning too, everyday. Sometimes this mama becomes so terrible, but he copes very well with me. And I dont really have to stress out myself to become supermother to be loved. I love you, my son.

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